The Gertchin is a wild hairy man who lives in the trees and wears nothing but a nappy. He spends his days stealing away women’s sweethearts and dragging them back to his lair. You don’t want to know what he spends his nights doing.
This is what the Gertchin looks like:
Do not approach this mythical beast
Ladies, if you see this creature when out with your beau, do not put up any resistance. The Gertchin can run faster than you, but does not appreciate the inconvenience, and he will tear you limb from limb as punishment. The safest option is to let him take your man and go out and find another true love. And be more careful with this one.
There are rumours that documentary footage of the Gertchin exists. If I can get my hands on film of this ferocious creature in action I will let you know.
As Shaw Taylor used to say, keep your eyes peeled.
UPDATE: 2oth January 2009
